so i just watched the blair witch project for the first time.
i am officially afraid of corners in houses now :[

meet Juno.
he's awesome and i love him :]

dumpy's house sold today...


me and mom just didn't know what to say :[

lissssaaaa
i called you yesterday to tell you happy birthday, and you never called back.


SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! love yoouuu

I'M AN EMT!!!!
you had to get an 80% or better on the final. I got an 88 :]
and i'm pretty sure my final grade in the class is an A.


YAY! haha

it's our treeeeee!
those are your presents in the front! mom wouldn't let me open them yet haha.
while mom was unpacking them from the box. emmie decided to steal one and took off under the bed with it. after some digging we found it [along with scizzors, a tampon, dog toys, pens, lighters, and all sorts of good stuff] ;]
so mom decided to give her her own present. she unwrapped it and everything!!!
cutest toy EVERRRR. the squirrel one. she LOVES LOVES LOVES IT!!! she played with it for like an hour hahaha
annnnyways yay! your presents will get to you soon!

so since i started school, i've been trying to get more involved with the medical care of patients in the hospital rather than just sitting behind the desk and getting their names. i'm not allowed to TOUCH or help the patients yet. but i have been asking to watch the procedures that the physicians do.

for instance, last week i watched a girl get her stomach pumped. and for those who don't know...I CAN'T STAND VOMIT. i see someone throw up, and i'm right along with them with my little bucket. but i worked up my nerve and i watched. there's nothing like watching a girl with a tube in her throat throwing up charcoal.

but yesterday...we got a medic in. a code 3. which means cpr in progress. i didn't see the medics bring the patient in, but as soon as i saw he was in the room, i asked the charge nurse if i could go in and watch. (i mostly just wanted to see how they do cpr since that is what i am really nervous about doing) but when i got in the room, they had stopped doing cpr. they were calling his time of death...
this poor little man. 50 years old. he weighed 80 fucking pounds. he was so skinny. literally skin and bones. a cancer patient. laying there on the tabled, intibated, ribs sticking unbelievably far out of his chest. i just started crying. how the hell am i going to be an emt...
it seriously broke my heart.
the weird thing was, i wasn't upset that he had died. i was actually happy that he had passed. no more SUFFERING. i knew he was living a horrible life and know he is free of his pain. but how could someone let him get to the point he was. so malnurished. his family took an HOUR to get there. he died alone. obviously his family was never there for him. stuck him in a nursing home and only cared when he DIED.

it really made me think about dumpy. and how someone was always at his side. how can you just leave someone there to eventually die. i just don't get it...

ok ok BRIT haha i'll update just for you.
i don't update anymore because nothing ever changes in my life :P haha

so i'm 21 now. and NOTHING has changed. i didn't go out on my birthday, i haven't gone to any bars. i ordered a drink when i went to lunch one day...woo that's it haha. i did however get a dog!! i got a little yorkie. she's a year and half and i love her to death. her name is emmie :] and here's a picture:



i start school on the 20th. i'm SO excited. although i'll never get a job as an emt in this county. it's almost impossible.

work is...well it's work. it's exactly the same.


still no guys. guys suck.








one thing.
i miss you dumpy. and i love you so much

so i got back from the cruise on monday.
yeah i went on a cruise to mexico.

it was great times. i don't think i've ever drank that much before.
"what happens on the cruise, stays on the cruise" haha


but now i'm home
and have a really high temp, sore throat, and a cough
mexico made me sick!!
pictures are on myspace. no way i'm uploading them all onto here


annnnyways
birthday in 6 days, woo! big 21
girls night at the fair on saturday the 4th. all the girls on my list and in the area are more than welcome to come :] even if you're not in the area haha



I LOVE YOU LISA!!! remember you can call me anytime!!

soooo haven't updated in a while...



work
work is still going really well. i love my schedule, and i like almost all the of the people i work with. there isn't gossip like there was at walgreens!!
i've been having this weird feeling today though. the first death i witnessed at work was almost too much for me to handle. i felt sick, i cried, i just all around felt awful. like i had actually known the person, and really well for that matter.
i've witnessed 3 deaths since then. and i feel nothing. completely numb.
maybe it's because their family hasn't been there when they die? no one around me is crying or hysterical like the first death.
i don't really know...
and i looked up dumpy's account the other day. how weird i can just look at a hospital account and just start bawling.

my position i was hired on as was an on call position. i wanted to be full time. well my STUPID manager couldn't figure out a schedule for me to be full time so now i'm only part time :[ three days a week. yeah, now i have to get a second job. and on top of that....




school
I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL IN THE FALL!!!
i'm taking an emt course :] i'm so proud of myself for going back! and i'm really really looking forward to it. only thing that scares me, is we have to learn and practice IVs on each other [the students]. which is gonna SUCK because the person practicing on me will be chasing me around the room with the needle haha




love life
what's that?
tyler and i don't talk anymore. at all.
no guys in my life.
it's fun. but it's lonely.





ummm those are the major things haha.
new day. same shit.

looking forward to july though.
my 21st birthday!!!
and erin's wedding and the cruise :]

blah blah blah
so bored
and so sick
and i'm at work

i got a TERRIBLE sunburn on tuesday
so bad it's making my physically sick. yeah it SUCKS. my whoooole back side. feet to neck.

since i'm at work
and bored
people should email me or something :]
jillosaurusrex@gmail.com

wow...okay
so the past couple days have been REALLY REALLY shitty for me.
i'm just really stressed
tired
i can't eat. all that good stuff.

soooo when i went into work tonight i wasn't really being myself. just kinda sad and quiet.

this little boy came in with his family and he had to be seen by the doctor. he was probably 5 or so.
his family brought in his little sister who was almost 2.
the dad and the sister were sitting in the waiting room, and it was slow so i started talking to her and waving at her and stuff. and all of a sudden she sticks her arm out at me and her hand is in a fist.
of course babies do this so i just kinda did it back to her.

but then her dad stood up and carried her to me and said she wanted a "knuckle bomb" not sure you know what that is...but like where you bump your fists together? haha not sure how to explain it really.

so she gave me a knuckle bomb. it was the CUTEST THING EVER.
and seriously....
that little girl made my night. she made me feel SO much better.

so weird how the littlest things can cheer you up.


anyways...just thought i'd share that :]

so i'm really really enjoying my job lately :]
they've had me down in the ER. and it's SO busy that the time just FLIES. i don't even mind that i work until midnight. and plus there are some really really cute nurses/emt's/fireman/cops that come in haha.

too many sad things happen down there though
last night i almost cried

annnnyways. i'm not sure why i'm writing this. it's pointless.
my birthday is in 3 MONTHS!!!

wow i'm shocked i'm actually able to get on here.
i'm at work right now.
just trying out all my usual sites.


hi people :]
only a half hour more to go!


and someone just barfed in the admitting office.
gross :[

so today was my 4th day at work. training.
all i'm doing is shadowing people. it's so weird...this job is SO tiring for me! because all i do is sit in an office, and when i'm not doing anything i just get bored and tired. at my other jobs i was always up and doing physical work.
but man...it really is hard working just sitting behind a desk all day lol

this job...omg
the programs we use are SO confusing and the girls we are shadowing just go SO fast through all of it. no wonder they give me a MONTH of training!!

i'm kind of in a little situation though.
3 girls have transfered/quit in my 5 days of working there.
3 more are leaving.

when i was hired, i was hired as an on-call position.

but, now there are part and full time positions available for when my training is over. and my boss told me i'm basically going to be full time once my training is over.
this is GREAT. i need the money.

BUT
i was kind of thinking [when i still thought i was going to be on-call] that if i wasn't working so much, i'd have time to go back to school and get my nursing license and become an OB nurse. or at least start off with the 11 week course to become a cna and become an OB tech.
well...being full time after training. i won't have time for school.

AND
the girls that have already quit...well my boss is PISSED at them. like won't even talk to them.
i don't want to stay in admitting forever.
but if she's getting mad that they transfered/quit after 5 months of working in admitting...well that scares me a little.

i know i need to do what will benefit ME more. but i need the money! but i really want to go to school. and to become a nurse, that's 2 years of school and not a lot of income.

ahhhh i don't know :[

i've been getting complaints about not updating.. ;] that's because i have no life! but here's a short one



I HATE TYLER
yeah...maybe not REALLY REALLY hate him. but i am really disliking him.
he drinks too much
smokes pot
is WAY WAY WAY too lazy
he's a complete jerk
cares only about himself
basically...he told me, that he doesn't care if i'm his friend or if i'm in his life.

wow. and wasted 7 months of my life on this guy

anyways...
i'm starting my job tomorrow. i went out clothes shopping and got a bunch of new nice clothes. i hate dressing nice :P

other than that...i sit at home with my mom and watch movies lol
easter hopefully we're going out to my auntie em's house to ride quads
and the sunday after that it's the round-up cattle branding deal at her ranch. 4500 acres with lootttssss of cows. and basically TONS of people come out just to help her with the cattle. again...gonna be riding the quads.

eh here's a picture lol
i wasn't really drinking...just holding an empty shot glass to look cool :P

my new helmet :]




and the kitties :]
look how big they are lisa!!!